I was reminded today..

just how finite this life truly is. Life carrying on just like every other day and than boom your heart drops when you research something that you see on a friend's FB post. The words on the post said "sad for OSU and the Budke family." My curiosity spiked because through my short time of coaching I had met Kurt Budke. What I didn't intend on finding was the report that head coach Kurt Budke and assistant coach Miranda Serna were killed in a plane crash. The tears begin to pour. I worked with Miranda at Fresno State. She had such a lively demeanor. She was upbeat and was a very driven individual. At moments, she seemed a little crazy, but that was the part that made you love her even more. We shared hotel rooms on road trips, but for some reason the thought never crossed my mind that one day I could possibly read about her death on the internet. My heart grieves. It grieves because I am not certain that she was a believer in Christ. Anger burns within at myself because at that stage of my life I was too selfish to care about others and what eternity held for them. When something like this happens it forces your faith to be put into action. My head knows the TRUTH, but do I BELIEVE it?! Its something that isn't easy to believe. In comparison, to humans Miranda was good and loving and kind. But, compared to a HOLY, PERFECT, INFINITE GOD, she was a child of wrath. Oh, how I hope she is a child of God because she had accepted Jesus as her Lord and Savior. Oh, I hope that she received the ONLY precious gift that is truly worth anything-Jesus Christ! I am unsettled within myself. Wanting to place blame on others, even questioning God, really how could you send someone to hell?! I am all for the ones who are really bad, but then I remember we are all sinners. We have ALL fallen short of the glory of God.That we ALL deserve HELL!!! That Jesus perfect and holy gave up ALL for us to be in right standing with God the Father. I don't deserve and you don't deserve the GRACE that God pours out on us. Even as hard as a moment as this GOD IS GOOD, ALWAYS!!!! He redeems and restores and reconciles. This event has shown me what truly matters- Jesus- nothing else. No, I can't make people follow after Christ, but I can share Christ with them. Oh, how I have bought into the lies of the Enemy in that I have nothing to offer and nothing to share, but I do have something to share the LOVE, GRACE, MERCY, and FORGIVENESS God has shown me through the precious sacrifice of Jesus Christ. My prayer is that through this event many others will SEE Jesus!!! Sadly, I can't go back in time, but I know that God can redeem. The Redemption Story-The Bible. I read it and I see even more clearly now, that this is absolutely the business of my Heavenly Father. I will trust my God- He is sovereign, He is just, He is merciful, He is good, He is gracious, He is slow to anger, He is love and I rest in His everlasting arms and that His ways are higher than my ways and His thoughts are higher than mine!

Organization!

Well, this word has come to mean so much to me in the past 2 months. I have always thought of myself as an organized person, but I never knew what I could become. (I still have a long ways to go, I might add.) Adding 2 kids to the family dynamics has called for a lot of planning on my part. The days I don't plan can become awful for all involved. I am planning weekly meals (need to get back in the groove since we have all recovered from being sick.) Also, I am putting together monthly calendars, weekly calendars, daily calendars, and a big to-do list. Quite honestly if I don't write it down it will not get down. My brain is fried that much!!! I will say that these past 2 months have taught me more about life than ever! I am learning to take the littlest things and count them a blessing. If we can make it through one day with all the kids eating most of their food during meal times I count that a success! I also count it a success if we get everyone's teeth brushed at least once a day! Sorry, but that is how we roll around here. The most amazing thing I have learned over the past 2 months would be how unconditional God's love, grace, and mercy truly is. I really think I am just on the verge of understanding it. Every day I am faced with the choice, am I going to extend the love, grace, and mercy I have received from my Heavenly Father to the ones around me? Now, I would like to answer that question with YES I absolutely do 100% of the time, but I would be a liar if I said that. Gradually, the Holy Spirit is convicting me to stop and make the choice that shows Christ. I am so thankful that God gives multiple teaching moments. I am so thankful that God is slow to anger and full of grace and mercy. This is one momma who is in desperate need of my Savior every moment of the day.

Update on the kids- All are doing well! Jaycee has started Fall soccer again. First game will be this Saturday. She is doing well in her schoolwork and is quite the helper around the house. Jackson has become a monster in size that is! He is now the same size shoe as Jaycee. He has said good-bye to taking his blanket with him. He has really stepped up well in his new role as big brother! Toothless is a sweet sweet boy! He lacks self control, but hey we all do in some form or fashion. He is energetic and loves to play, play and play! Tiny Tot is an adorable little girl with one stubborn will. She is 2 with a strong will and gives us quite the battles at times, but we are learning that the less with try to "fight" the more she gives in. Its been quite the adventure so far and I know its just begun. I am thankful that God has led us down this road. I honestly do not think we would have been able to experience God the way we have or been able to teach our children the things we have if He would have not led us down this road! I am truly humbled that God loves and cares so much for me that He would be willing to do this work in my heart for His Kingdom!!!

Tiny Tot & Toothless...

will be the names of the precious children we got on Thursday evening! Tiny Tot is adorable with her big grown eyes! Several had told us that she was small, but she is SMALL!!! In August she turns 2 and she is about the size of a 1 year old. She might be 20lbs. Our fire ball of a boy has a smile that melts your heart and yes at 3 years old he lacks his 2 front teeth, therefore the name Toothless. I can absolutely see how he lost them, this little guy has got tons of energy!

Toothless was thrilled when he came into the house. He wanted to play with every single toy. Tiny Tot just wanted to be close to her brother. Which is completely understandable given the past 2 weeks of their lives. They are the only constant in each other lives at this point. Our first night went better than expected. We had gotten reports that neither were eating or sleeping. God graciously gave us the strength and them peace to rest. We began bed time at 10:30 and they didn't fall asleep until close to 1:00. Both slept well. So we were pleased with their first night. Eating hasn't been a problem either. They both have done fabulously. Toothless had 2 bowls of oatmeal for breakfast yesterday and Tiny Tot LOVES bananas!!!

Our plan for day 2 was to play hard without naps. They had been getting naps at the last place, but none of us could keep up with midnight bedtimes. It amazes me that Tiny Tot can go without a nap. After lunch she did fall asleep for a few minutes on Byron (who she ADORES) but, as soon as he went to put her in bed she woke up. 9:00 was bedtime last night. Within 10 minutes they were both asleep. As I type this they are both still sleeping. Toothless did wake up once, but I quickly reassured him that everything was okay and he went right back to sleep. They are both getting more comfortable. Last night after dinner Tiny Tot started to come out of her shell a bit. She has the cutest little Mickey Mouse voice. She is quite the little chatter box even though we can't understand or hear at times what she is saying! Toothless is fun and high energy. He has had a hard time listening and then applying what he has been told, but really we all have that. He really is doing quite well.

Jaycee and Jackson are doing great, too! Jaycee has struggled a bit b/c she so badly wants Tiny Tot to follow her around. We continue to encourage her that it will happen it just will take some time. Jaycee is such a big help! She is so sweet and kind to all of the kids! Jackson has done amazingly well. We can really see that he has matured and we see some of the seeds that have been planted in his heart starting to bloom. He has been very gracious at sharing things and has also been very mindful of the kids. Once again shows God's perfect timing to us. A year ago he would have not been this way at all. I am sure we will have plenty of melt downs, but thankful to see hope in the beginning.

Next challenge on the list is whether we should all attend church tomorrow or not. We absolutely want to, but not sure if Tiny Tot and Toothless will be ready for that. So much has changed in their little lives we do not want to create any more trauma. Of course we will be taking them to church, but they need first to feel secure enough with us to be in an environment like that. We will continue to lean on the guidance of the Holy Spirit! Thank you all for your prayers. We so appreciate it!!!

This is the day...

that the Lord has made and on this He has chosen our family to bring 2 toddlers into our home and we will rejoice and be glad in it!!! We will go this afternoon to DHS office to sign paperwork and then will be given 2 precious children. I can't even put into words how amazing God is. Byron and I stand in awe of how God is using us. Neither of us deserve or are equipped to do this on our own. It is only by God's grace that we can do this. I am so thankful that God is blessing us this way. He is opening the door for us to be able to SEE who He is! He is a father to the fatherless, defender, and protector of the orphans. We are going to SEE this played out in our lives as well as others! I am completely overwhelmed! The story of God and His redemptive plan through His Son Jesus gets absolutely more beautiful every day! His unconditional love for His children is truly unfathomable! I was going to include a picture of our van with 4 CARSEATS, but time isn't allowing that! This picture will be for sure one of my most treasured ones because it is SEEING God's work in our lives!!!!! (Can't wait to blog about the amazing work God is doing in the single mom as well! We serve such a mighty God!)

Could this be...

the day we bring more children into our home? I believe the ones who follow our family blog know that we have been in the process of becoming a foster family in Oklahoma. Its almost been a year since we made the call to learn more about becoming a foster family. Now, typically it wouldn't take a family a year, and yes we have been frustrated with the process more than once, but I can say God has known every detail and His timing is perfect. Byron and I have helped start Abba's Hands an adoption and orphan care ministry. For this ministry along with our own family we want to not only care and love for the children, but also the birth parents. Little did we know that we would have such a wonderful opportunity to do this. Last Sunday a young single mom attended our church for the first time. She has 2 toddler children that have been taken from her. She has found herself homeless and jobless. Our church has come alongside of her to show her Christ's love for her and to support and encourage her. Can I just say seeing the body of Christ at work is such a beautiful thing! We are so blessed that many families of our church are doers of the Word and not just hearers of the Word. We have devoted the last week to this single mom. She got her first job Saturday and starts work today. We hope to have her in an apartment by the beginning of next week. Today, our family hopes to open our home to her 2 precious children. I am humbled that God would even consider our family for this task. This is simply God at work! This is not something Byron and I would have ever dreamed of when we got married! So thankful God directs our path. Our faith has grown so much through this journey. Our dependence on God continues to grow. Honestly, it would be easy to throw in the towel, but when your focus is Christ and you meditate on what He has done for us, He gives you the strength and the perserevance to continue on. Our goal is not just to love and care for this mom and her children, but our goal is that they would come to know Jesus in an intimate way. We are willing to do what God calls us to do to welcome them into the family of God forever. So please be praying for this mom, her children, us, and our church. Pray that God would lead and that we would follow. That His wisdom, love, grace, mercy, and forgiveness would be made evident in all we do. My heart is filled with joy with our task at hand. I know that God has given this to us. He is our joy! He is our strength! He is our rock and refuge! He is our prized possession!

Making the blog private!

I recently made our blog private. With us getting close to becoming a foster family and by close I mean that tomorrow we could possibly have kids. We thought Friday we would have them, but are learning more everyday to lean on God and trust in His perfect timing. The realization hit that I (we) need to do our very best of keeping our children and the children in our home safe. Therefore I made our blog and my facebook page private. I will share stories of fostering on here, but no pictures. I will email pictures at different times of the kids in our home. Most likely will not use names either. Keeping a blog is a little easier then trying to keep up with emails I send out. Hopefully, I can keep you in the loop in our life, but can't promise you anything. We only have 2 kids now I am pretty lousy at this blogging stuff! So thankful for your prayers for our family as we walk out obedience to God. So much to share and hopefully soon I will. I will say this talking is absolutely different from walking. God has challenged me and grown my faith more in Him this past week than ever before! I am so grateful to my Heavenly Father for that!!! So grateful for Him making the gospel visible to me and so many others this week!!!! What a mighty God we serve!!!

6 years ago...

yesterday God blessed our family with a beautiful precious baby girl, Jaycee Ann!!! I can't even describe how wonderful these 6 years have been. Now, don't miss understand what I am saying, these 6 years have not been perfect by any means, but none the less they have been wonderful! All the praise goes to God for His amazing faithfulness to our family. He has been the glue that has kept our family together. He has been our rock through the difficult times. He has been our strength when we had none. He has been our joy in our breakthrough moments!

All I can do is rejoice in knowing that God's plans are perfect and right! I don't think I am taking this verse out of context here Proverbs 16:9 The heart of man plans his way, but the Lord established his steps. Looking back I know the plans Byron and I had. We had no plans of having children with in the first year of marriage. We had no plans of moving as many times as we have. The Lord established our steps. It was God's plan for us to have children when we did. He knew the exact day and time that not only Jaycee would be conceived, but that she would make her entrance into this world. I am thankful for God's direction and God's sovereignty.

Jaycee Ann is a precious gift from God. In the first few moments of her birth, Byron and I got a glimpse of God's unconditional love for us. Because of Jaycee our relationship with God has grown more intimately. I have learned what the phrase "faith like a child" really means! I know that God has mighty plans for this little girl! My prayer is that as her mom I will be led by the Holy Spirit in training her in the ways of the Lord. My deepest desire for her is to have a passionate relationship with Jesus Christ. I want this more for her than anything this world can offer. I want for her to live out a life that glorifies her Creator!!! I pray that in no way will I stand in the way of God doing miraclous things in and through her! I pray that Jaycee will

allow the Holy Spirit to guide her. That she will have a deep understanding and love for God's Word. That she will be bold in the Lord. That she will use her gifts and talents to spread the gospel of Jesus Christ to the ends of the world.

Jaycee, your heart for the least of these blows me away. Your concern for children world wide without parents or anyone to love them is a gift from your Heavenly Father. You are such a sweet caring forgiving little girl. It's a humbling experience to watch you love others unconditionally. You love to sing and dance for your King! I hope that never changes, but only grows more as your relationship with Him increases. You are one amazing little girl, not because we are your parents or because you were born into the Lohrer/Sutton family, or because of things you do, but because you are created in the image of God fearfully and wonderfully made!

We love you to the moon and back!!! We are truly honored to have you as our daughter!!!