I was reminded today..

just how finite this life truly is. Life carrying on just like every other day and than boom your heart drops when you research something that you see on a friend's FB post. The words on the post said "sad for OSU and the Budke family." My curiosity spiked because through my short time of coaching I had met Kurt Budke. What I didn't intend on finding was the report that head coach Kurt Budke and assistant coach Miranda Serna were killed in a plane crash. The tears begin to pour. I worked with Miranda at Fresno State. She had such a lively demeanor. She was upbeat and was a very driven individual. At moments, she seemed a little crazy, but that was the part that made you love her even more. We shared hotel rooms on road trips, but for some reason the thought never crossed my mind that one day I could possibly read about her death on the internet. My heart grieves. It grieves because I am not certain that she was a believer in Christ. Anger burns within at myself because at that stage of my life I was too selfish to care about others and what eternity held for them. When something like this happens it forces your faith to be put into action. My head knows the TRUTH, but do I BELIEVE it?! Its something that isn't easy to believe. In comparison, to humans Miranda was good and loving and kind. But, compared to a HOLY, PERFECT, INFINITE GOD, she was a child of wrath. Oh, how I hope she is a child of God because she had accepted Jesus as her Lord and Savior. Oh, I hope that she received the ONLY precious gift that is truly worth anything-Jesus Christ! I am unsettled within myself. Wanting to place blame on others, even questioning God, really how could you send someone to hell?! I am all for the ones who are really bad, but then I remember we are all sinners. We have ALL fallen short of the glory of God.That we ALL deserve HELL!!! That Jesus perfect and holy gave up ALL for us to be in right standing with God the Father. I don't deserve and you don't deserve the GRACE that God pours out on us. Even as hard as a moment as this GOD IS GOOD, ALWAYS!!!! He redeems and restores and reconciles. This event has shown me what truly matters- Jesus- nothing else. No, I can't make people follow after Christ, but I can share Christ with them. Oh, how I have bought into the lies of the Enemy in that I have nothing to offer and nothing to share, but I do have something to share the LOVE, GRACE, MERCY, and FORGIVENESS God has shown me through the precious sacrifice of Jesus Christ. My prayer is that through this event many others will SEE Jesus!!! Sadly, I can't go back in time, but I know that God can redeem. The Redemption Story-The Bible. I read it and I see even more clearly now, that this is absolutely the business of my Heavenly Father. I will trust my God- He is sovereign, He is just, He is merciful, He is good, He is gracious, He is slow to anger, He is love and I rest in His everlasting arms and that His ways are higher than my ways and His thoughts are higher than mine!

Organization!

Well, this word has come to mean so much to me in the past 2 months. I have always thought of myself as an organized person, but I never knew what I could become. (I still have a long ways to go, I might add.) Adding 2 kids to the family dynamics has called for a lot of planning on my part. The days I don't plan can become awful for all involved. I am planning weekly meals (need to get back in the groove since we have all recovered from being sick.) Also, I am putting together monthly calendars, weekly calendars, daily calendars, and a big to-do list. Quite honestly if I don't write it down it will not get down. My brain is fried that much!!! I will say that these past 2 months have taught me more about life than ever! I am learning to take the littlest things and count them a blessing. If we can make it through one day with all the kids eating most of their food during meal times I count that a success! I also count it a success if we get everyone's teeth brushed at least once a day! Sorry, but that is how we roll around here. The most amazing thing I have learned over the past 2 months would be how unconditional God's love, grace, and mercy truly is. I really think I am just on the verge of understanding it. Every day I am faced with the choice, am I going to extend the love, grace, and mercy I have received from my Heavenly Father to the ones around me? Now, I would like to answer that question with YES I absolutely do 100% of the time, but I would be a liar if I said that. Gradually, the Holy Spirit is convicting me to stop and make the choice that shows Christ. I am so thankful that God gives multiple teaching moments. I am so thankful that God is slow to anger and full of grace and mercy. This is one momma who is in desperate need of my Savior every moment of the day.

Update on the kids- All are doing well! Jaycee has started Fall soccer again. First game will be this Saturday. She is doing well in her schoolwork and is quite the helper around the house. Jackson has become a monster in size that is! He is now the same size shoe as Jaycee. He has said good-bye to taking his blanket with him. He has really stepped up well in his new role as big brother! Toothless is a sweet sweet boy! He lacks self control, but hey we all do in some form or fashion. He is energetic and loves to play, play and play! Tiny Tot is an adorable little girl with one stubborn will. She is 2 with a strong will and gives us quite the battles at times, but we are learning that the less with try to "fight" the more she gives in. Its been quite the adventure so far and I know its just begun. I am thankful that God has led us down this road. I honestly do not think we would have been able to experience God the way we have or been able to teach our children the things we have if He would have not led us down this road! I am truly humbled that God loves and cares so much for me that He would be willing to do this work in my heart for His Kingdom!!!

Tiny Tot & Toothless...

will be the names of the precious children we got on Thursday evening! Tiny Tot is adorable with her big grown eyes! Several had told us that she was small, but she is SMALL!!! In August she turns 2 and she is about the size of a 1 year old. She might be 20lbs. Our fire ball of a boy has a smile that melts your heart and yes at 3 years old he lacks his 2 front teeth, therefore the name Toothless. I can absolutely see how he lost them, this little guy has got tons of energy!

Toothless was thrilled when he came into the house. He wanted to play with every single toy. Tiny Tot just wanted to be close to her brother. Which is completely understandable given the past 2 weeks of their lives. They are the only constant in each other lives at this point. Our first night went better than expected. We had gotten reports that neither were eating or sleeping. God graciously gave us the strength and them peace to rest. We began bed time at 10:30 and they didn't fall asleep until close to 1:00. Both slept well. So we were pleased with their first night. Eating hasn't been a problem either. They both have done fabulously. Toothless had 2 bowls of oatmeal for breakfast yesterday and Tiny Tot LOVES bananas!!!

Our plan for day 2 was to play hard without naps. They had been getting naps at the last place, but none of us could keep up with midnight bedtimes. It amazes me that Tiny Tot can go without a nap. After lunch she did fall asleep for a few minutes on Byron (who she ADORES) but, as soon as he went to put her in bed she woke up. 9:00 was bedtime last night. Within 10 minutes they were both asleep. As I type this they are both still sleeping. Toothless did wake up once, but I quickly reassured him that everything was okay and he went right back to sleep. They are both getting more comfortable. Last night after dinner Tiny Tot started to come out of her shell a bit. She has the cutest little Mickey Mouse voice. She is quite the little chatter box even though we can't understand or hear at times what she is saying! Toothless is fun and high energy. He has had a hard time listening and then applying what he has been told, but really we all have that. He really is doing quite well.

Jaycee and Jackson are doing great, too! Jaycee has struggled a bit b/c she so badly wants Tiny Tot to follow her around. We continue to encourage her that it will happen it just will take some time. Jaycee is such a big help! She is so sweet and kind to all of the kids! Jackson has done amazingly well. We can really see that he has matured and we see some of the seeds that have been planted in his heart starting to bloom. He has been very gracious at sharing things and has also been very mindful of the kids. Once again shows God's perfect timing to us. A year ago he would have not been this way at all. I am sure we will have plenty of melt downs, but thankful to see hope in the beginning.

Next challenge on the list is whether we should all attend church tomorrow or not. We absolutely want to, but not sure if Tiny Tot and Toothless will be ready for that. So much has changed in their little lives we do not want to create any more trauma. Of course we will be taking them to church, but they need first to feel secure enough with us to be in an environment like that. We will continue to lean on the guidance of the Holy Spirit! Thank you all for your prayers. We so appreciate it!!!

This is the day...

that the Lord has made and on this He has chosen our family to bring 2 toddlers into our home and we will rejoice and be glad in it!!! We will go this afternoon to DHS office to sign paperwork and then will be given 2 precious children. I can't even put into words how amazing God is. Byron and I stand in awe of how God is using us. Neither of us deserve or are equipped to do this on our own. It is only by God's grace that we can do this. I am so thankful that God is blessing us this way. He is opening the door for us to be able to SEE who He is! He is a father to the fatherless, defender, and protector of the orphans. We are going to SEE this played out in our lives as well as others! I am completely overwhelmed! The story of God and His redemptive plan through His Son Jesus gets absolutely more beautiful every day! His unconditional love for His children is truly unfathomable! I was going to include a picture of our van with 4 CARSEATS, but time isn't allowing that! This picture will be for sure one of my most treasured ones because it is SEEING God's work in our lives!!!!! (Can't wait to blog about the amazing work God is doing in the single mom as well! We serve such a mighty God!)

Could this be...

the day we bring more children into our home? I believe the ones who follow our family blog know that we have been in the process of becoming a foster family in Oklahoma. Its almost been a year since we made the call to learn more about becoming a foster family. Now, typically it wouldn't take a family a year, and yes we have been frustrated with the process more than once, but I can say God has known every detail and His timing is perfect. Byron and I have helped start Abba's Hands an adoption and orphan care ministry. For this ministry along with our own family we want to not only care and love for the children, but also the birth parents. Little did we know that we would have such a wonderful opportunity to do this. Last Sunday a young single mom attended our church for the first time. She has 2 toddler children that have been taken from her. She has found herself homeless and jobless. Our church has come alongside of her to show her Christ's love for her and to support and encourage her. Can I just say seeing the body of Christ at work is such a beautiful thing! We are so blessed that many families of our church are doers of the Word and not just hearers of the Word. We have devoted the last week to this single mom. She got her first job Saturday and starts work today. We hope to have her in an apartment by the beginning of next week. Today, our family hopes to open our home to her 2 precious children. I am humbled that God would even consider our family for this task. This is simply God at work! This is not something Byron and I would have ever dreamed of when we got married! So thankful God directs our path. Our faith has grown so much through this journey. Our dependence on God continues to grow. Honestly, it would be easy to throw in the towel, but when your focus is Christ and you meditate on what He has done for us, He gives you the strength and the perserevance to continue on. Our goal is not just to love and care for this mom and her children, but our goal is that they would come to know Jesus in an intimate way. We are willing to do what God calls us to do to welcome them into the family of God forever. So please be praying for this mom, her children, us, and our church. Pray that God would lead and that we would follow. That His wisdom, love, grace, mercy, and forgiveness would be made evident in all we do. My heart is filled with joy with our task at hand. I know that God has given this to us. He is our joy! He is our strength! He is our rock and refuge! He is our prized possession!

Making the blog private!

I recently made our blog private. With us getting close to becoming a foster family and by close I mean that tomorrow we could possibly have kids. We thought Friday we would have them, but are learning more everyday to lean on God and trust in His perfect timing. The realization hit that I (we) need to do our very best of keeping our children and the children in our home safe. Therefore I made our blog and my facebook page private. I will share stories of fostering on here, but no pictures. I will email pictures at different times of the kids in our home. Most likely will not use names either. Keeping a blog is a little easier then trying to keep up with emails I send out. Hopefully, I can keep you in the loop in our life, but can't promise you anything. We only have 2 kids now I am pretty lousy at this blogging stuff! So thankful for your prayers for our family as we walk out obedience to God. So much to share and hopefully soon I will. I will say this talking is absolutely different from walking. God has challenged me and grown my faith more in Him this past week than ever before! I am so grateful to my Heavenly Father for that!!! So grateful for Him making the gospel visible to me and so many others this week!!!! What a mighty God we serve!!!

6 years ago...

yesterday God blessed our family with a beautiful precious baby girl, Jaycee Ann!!! I can't even describe how wonderful these 6 years have been. Now, don't miss understand what I am saying, these 6 years have not been perfect by any means, but none the less they have been wonderful! All the praise goes to God for His amazing faithfulness to our family. He has been the glue that has kept our family together. He has been our rock through the difficult times. He has been our strength when we had none. He has been our joy in our breakthrough moments!

All I can do is rejoice in knowing that God's plans are perfect and right! I don't think I am taking this verse out of context here Proverbs 16:9 The heart of man plans his way, but the Lord established his steps. Looking back I know the plans Byron and I had. We had no plans of having children with in the first year of marriage. We had no plans of moving as many times as we have. The Lord established our steps. It was God's plan for us to have children when we did. He knew the exact day and time that not only Jaycee would be conceived, but that she would make her entrance into this world. I am thankful for God's direction and God's sovereignty.

Jaycee Ann is a precious gift from God. In the first few moments of her birth, Byron and I got a glimpse of God's unconditional love for us. Because of Jaycee our relationship with God has grown more intimately. I have learned what the phrase "faith like a child" really means! I know that God has mighty plans for this little girl! My prayer is that as her mom I will be led by the Holy Spirit in training her in the ways of the Lord. My deepest desire for her is to have a passionate relationship with Jesus Christ. I want this more for her than anything this world can offer. I want for her to live out a life that glorifies her Creator!!! I pray that in no way will I stand in the way of God doing miraclous things in and through her! I pray that Jaycee will

allow the Holy Spirit to guide her. That she will have a deep understanding and love for God's Word. That she will be bold in the Lord. That she will use her gifts and talents to spread the gospel of Jesus Christ to the ends of the world.

Jaycee, your heart for the least of these blows me away. Your concern for children world wide without parents or anyone to love them is a gift from your Heavenly Father. You are such a sweet caring forgiving little girl. It's a humbling experience to watch you love others unconditionally. You love to sing and dance for your King! I hope that never changes, but only grows more as your relationship with Him increases. You are one amazing little girl, not because we are your parents or because you were born into the Lohrer/Sutton family, or because of things you do, but because you are created in the image of God fearfully and wonderfully made!

We love you to the moon and back!!! We are truly honored to have you as our daughter!!!

My thoughts!

I am sure by now all know that Osama Bin Laden is dead. I applaud our military for carrying out such an amazing task. What a courageous act it was for the Navy Seal men. To me the reality of heaven and hell ring louder than ever before. Does Bin Laden deserve what he got, absolutely, here on earth and now for eternity in hell. I look at myself and I deserve the same for eternity. I have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God. I have rebelled against the almighty God. But by the grace of God and His work in my life I have been redeemed by what Christ did on the cross. I can not boast in anything I have done and I can't compare myself to anyone else to justify why I should be in heaven over someone else. I once stood as an enemy of God. By grace alone through faith alone in Christ Jesus my eternity is secure, not because of a single thing I have done it is only by Christ alone.

My heart breaks for so many people who think only the really evil people will go to hell. As hard as it is for our humans minds to understand if Bin Laden would have believed in Jesus and repented of his sins he would be in heaven right now. That to me speaks volume of how incredible the God I serve is. That there isn't a sin that God won't forgive. That a person is never too far gone to be reached by the grace of God. I pray that God will use this all for His glory. I pray that instead of us thinking we are good enough because we compare ourselves to one another that we will stop and compare ourselves to God. We can never measure up to Him. We can never be good enough to earn our way into heaven. The ONE and ONLY way to be found not guilty is to believe in Jesus and repent of sins. I pray that anyone who reads this will examine their life. If you have a bible read the book of John and the book of Romans. Cry out to God and allow Him to do a work in you that only He can do.

Cling to Him!

I am greatly behind the reading schedule for reading the Bible chronologically in a year, but I am still going for it. This morning I was finishing up the book of Joshua. I am going to be honest some of it I do have trouble reading through b/c there are so many names that I can't pronounce and I really don't have a clue where the land is that each of the tribes received. Then you get to a passage of scripture like this; "Only be very careful to observe the commandment and the law that Moses the servant of the LORD commanded you, to love the LORD your God, and to walk in all his ways and to keep his commandments and to cling to him and to serve him with all your heart and with all your soul." Joshua 22:5-6. My heart leaps for joy at the phrase "cling to Him". I LOVE THAT!!! The definition of the word cling is to hold fast or adhere to something by grasping, sticking, embracing or entwining. To remain close and resist seperation. WOW!!! Its having a right understanding of who God is and the right understanding of who we are that makes you want to cling to Him. This is something that God has been showing me continually over the past year or so. I didn't have the right understanding of Him or myself for so long. I still miss it a lot now too, but I am not blinded anymore to the fact that its all about Him. I was blinded to think that God saved me to make much of me. That statement is so very wrong! Of course that isn't how I saw it before. I thought I was making much of God, but I was living life the way I wanted to and just tagged God on where I wanted Him to be. How greatly wrong that is! God is all about a God-centered life not a self-centered life. Thankfully in God's amazing grace He has continued to pursue me and draw me to HIM!!!!

Why should I cling to Him?

By having a right understanding of Him-

Because He is sovereign over all. Psalm 24:1-2 The earth is the Lord's and the fullness thereof, the world and those who dwell therein, for he has founded it upon the seas and established it upon the rivers.

He created all things. Nehemiah 9:6 You are the LORD, you alone. You have made heaven, the heaven of heavens, with all their host, the earth and all that is on it, the seas and all that is in them; and you preserve all of them; and the host of heaven worships you.

He knows all things. Job 37:16 Do you know the balancings of clouds, the wondrous works of him who is perfect in knowledge. 1 John 3:20 for whenever our heart condemns us, God is greater than our heart, and he knows everything.

He sustains all things. Psalm 104:24-30 O LORD, how manifold are your works! In wisdom have you made them all; the earth is full of your creatures. Here is the sea, great and wide, which teems with creatures innumberable, living things both small and great. There go the ships, and Leviathan, which is formed to play in it. These all look to you, to give them their food in due season. When you give it to them, they gather it up; when you open your hand, they are filled with good things. When you hide your face, they are dismayed; when you take away their breath, they die and return to their dust. When you send forth your Spirit, they are created, and you renew the face of the ground.

He is holy above all. 1 Samuel 2:2 There is none holy like the LORD; there is none besides you; there is no rock like our God.

He is righteous in all His ways. Deuteronomy 32:4 The Rock, his work is perfect, for all his ways are justice. A God of faithfulness and without inquity, just and upright is he. Psalm 145:17 The LORD is righteous in all his ways and kind in all his works.

He is just in all His wrath. Romans 3:5-6 But if our unrighteousness serves to show the righteousness of God, what shall we say? That God is unrighteous to inflict wrath on us? (I speak in a human way.) By no means! For then how could God judge the world? 2 Thessalonians 1:5-10 This is the evidence of the righteous judgement of God, that you may be considered worthy of the kingdom of God, for which you are also suffering- since indeed God considers it just to repay with affliction those who afflict you, and to grant relief to you who are afflicted as well as to us, when the Lord Jesus is revealed from heaven with his mighty angels in flaming fire, inflicting vengeance on those who do not know God and on those who do not obey the gospel of our Lord Jesus. They will suffer the punishment of eternal destruction, away from the presence of the Lord and from the glory of his might, when he comes on that day to be glorified in his saints, and to be marveled at among all who have believed, because our testimony to you was believed.

He is intolerant of sin. Psalm 45:7 ...you have loved righteousness and hated wickedness. Therefore God, your God, has anointed you with the oil of gladness beyond your companions. Habakkuk 1:13 You who are of purer eyes than to see evil and cannot look at wrong, why do you idly look at traitors and remain silent when the wicked swallows up the man more righteous that he?

He is indignant toward sinners. Psalm 5:5-6 The boastful shall not stand before your eyes; you hate all evildoers. You destroy those you and speak lies; the LORD abhors the bloodthirsty and deceitful man. Numbers 20:11-12 And Moses lifted up his hand and struck the rock with his staff twice, and water came out abundantly, and the congregation drank, and their livestock. And the LORD said to Moses and Aaron, "Because you did not believe in me, to uphold me as holy in the eyes of the people of Israel, therefore you shall not bring this assembly into the land that I have given them."

He is loving toward all His creation. 1 John 4:16 So we have come to know and to believe the love that God has for us. God is love, and whoever abides in love abides in God, and God abides in him.

By having a right understanding of humans. (me)

We have denounced His sovereignty. Genesis 3:6-7 so when the woman saw that the tree was good for food, and that it was a delight to the eyes, and that the tree was to be desired to make one wise, she took of its fruit and ate, and she also gave some to her her husband who was with her, and he ate. Then the eyes of both were opened, and they knew that they were naked. And they sewed fig leaves together and made themselves loinclothes.

We have dishonored His holiness. Ezekiel 36:22-23 Therefore say to the house of Israel, Thus says the LORD GOD: It is not for your sake, O house of Israel, that I am about to act, but for the sake of my holy name, which you have profaned among the nations to which you came. And I will vindicate the holiness of my great name, which has been profaned among the nations, and which you have profaned among them. And the nations will know that I am the LORD, declares the LORD GOD, when through you I vindicate my holiness before their eyes.

We have despised His righteousness. Romans 3:10-12 ...as it is written: "None is righteous, no, not one; no one understands; no one seeks for God. All have turned aside; together they have become worthless; no one does good, not even one."

We have disregarded His wrath. Ephesians 2:1-3 And you were dead in the trespasses and sins in which you once walked, following the course of this world, following the prince of the power of the air, the spirit that is now at work in the sons of disobedience-among whom we all once lived in the passions of our flesh, carrying out the desires of the body and the mind, and were by nature children of wrath, like the rest of mankind.

We have denied His love. Romans 2:4 Or do you presume on the riches of his kindness and forbearance and patience, not knowing that God's kindness is meant to lead you to repentance?


After reading who God is and who we are ther is absolutely NOTHING we can do to cling to Him or have a relationship with Him. Therefore, in God's lovingkindness and to make His name known in the earth, He reached down to us through His Son Jesus Christ. God satisfies Himself by sacrifing His Son in the place of sinners. There is not another religion that has a god that has done this. When I meditate on this how could I not give my life to Him? How can I not fall on my face and worship Him for who He is and for what He has done? So by grace alone through faith alone because of Christ alone I have been justified. This is why I cling to Him. He is all that matters! My very life is dependant on Him. I have no life a part from Him. So I will cling to Him with all that I am because I trust Him. I know that He is perfect! There is only good in Him! God does no wrong. So even when this life makes no sense, I will cling to Him because He is my hope and my life.


(Who God is and Who we are are taken from my study guide from Secret Church by David Platt go to www.secretchurch.org to watch, listen, or read each Secret Church event.)

Update!

Well, I have started 2 other posts, but haven't seemed to finish them. We are still alive here in Oklahoma. We are in desperate need of rain. We are going on the longest drought since the 1920s. As of right now we still have no rain in sight.

Its been crazy busy around here. Last week we went to Duncan EVERY single day. Duncan is about a 20 minute drive for us. This week thankfully is not as busy. Byron and I have finished our Foster Parent classes. YAY!!!! We still have a few steps left in the process to becoming official and opening our home to precious children in need of love and a safe home.

March was a wonderful month. We celebrated Jackson's 4th birthday. Nana and Papa came to visit! It was so wonderful to have them here. The kids love and adore their Nana and Papa. We always hate to see them leave.

While Nana and Papa were here us adults went on a weekend roadtrip to Bristol, TN for a NASCAR race. It was a great trip and we had so much fun. Byron and his parents traveled to new parts of the country. They all got to cross the Mighty Mississippi River for the first time, too!!!

Here are some pics from Jackson's celebration! We had a small family birthday party for Jackson. He still isn't into the big parties so why have them if he doesn't care about it. All he wants is cake, ice cream, and cars! Ha!Ha! It's still hard to believe that our baby boy is 4!!! He is such a precious gift! He is full of life and energy! He goes non-stop all day long! Thankfully, God is my strengh and He gives me the endurance to keep up with our little guy! There is no telling what this little guy will get into if left to himself. He will hide in the closet and eat cheetos, he will swipe his fingers across an entire cake, and he has even attempted putting Zoe, our dog, in the washing machine. Thankfully, he can't turn it on yet!!! I am constantly thinking ahead and thinking creatively of things that could be potential dangers and messes around here. We sure couldn't imagine life without Jackson! We are so thankful he is our son and honored that God would choose us to parent him! I definitely think God is using Jackson to keep me humbled and on my knees in prayer! I rejoice because I wouldn't want to miss one moment of Jackson's life!!! Jackson we love everything about you!!!

March, are you really here?!?!

I can't believe we are already in the third month of 2011. It really doesn't seem possible and I am not quite sure where the first two months went. It sure doesn't seem like our trip to Washington was two months ago. BUT, here we are in March and March is going to be one busy exciting month.

Well, to catch you up on my tooth situation is that I am still in the process of having it fixed. I went to a specialist on Monday morning and he spent 2 hours working on my tooth. Sadly, due to extreme drainage from the infection and that the numbing medicine had run its course the specialist decided to temporarily fill my tooth and have me come back in a week to complete the re-do root canal. He also gave me a shot of antibiotics in the infected area which caused me to scream! Needless to say I still have quite a bit of discomfort. I am limited to eating only soft foods. Hopefully, after Monday the problem will be solved and I will be well on my way to having a normal mouth again.

This weekend Byron and I are co-host for THE JOURNEY WEEKEND for our youth at church. Basically, we will be glorified taxi drivers for 8th grade boys! We are super excited to see what God has in store for our youth! Praying that many will come to know Jesus as their personal Lord and Savior and praying that others will grow deeper in their walk with the Lord. Our kids will be staying with Michael, Amy, Kiley and Keely for the weekend. This will be Jackson's first time of staying the night with someone other than my parents. He is really excited. Both kids wake up every morning telling me how many more sleeps they have until Aunt A's house. My sis is beyond excited to have them come. So thankful to have a sis that is willing to take them for the weekend and love and care for them as her own!

March 16th, Byron's parents are coming to visit! We are so ready to see our Nana and Papa again!!! While they are here Nana, Papa, Byron, and I are driving to Bristol, Tennessee to the Nationwide NASCAR race! Also, Phil is flying into Nashville to join in on the trip! Can't tell you how pumped we are to road trip to one of the best racetracks in NASCAR. We will also celebrate Jackson's 4th birthday during Nana and Papa's visit. I can't believe our little man is turning 4, but that is a seperate blog in and of itself.

The last thing I guess that is taking place is Byron and I are starting our foster parent classes on Monday. We are so very excited to have reached this step in the process. Hopefully, by May we will be certified foster parents in Oklahoma. So thankful that God continues to pursue us. So thankful for His continual work in our lives. I know several years ago I would have laughed if someone would have told me that we would become foster parents. Once again God's plans are higher than our plans and His plans are for our good. Now, I can't imagine not being on this journey. By no means has it been easy, but I wouldn't trade the process for anything. God has broken our hearts for what breaks His. There are many many children who need the love of a family, but most importantly to SEE the love of Christ. If one child that comes into our home SEES the love of Christ and that changes their eternal life forever than its absolutely worth everything!!!

Not sure how much time I will have to post through the rest of March, but I am sure by the end I will need to give a much needed update on all the events and happenings that took place. I hope and pray that whatever this month brings for your family it will be filled with God's love, grace, mercy, kindness, and goodness.

Pretty Sure

having an abscessed tooth is one of the worst pains ever. My entire right side of my face hurts so much. Over the weekend I started having pain in the bottom right side of my mouth. I thought it was strange because the tooth that was hurting is one that I had a root canal done on 7 years ago and had a crown put on it 2 years ago. As the pain grew worse I knew this wasn't anything that was going away on its own. I was going to need some profressional help. Yesterday morning I called my dentist. They got me in right after lunch. Sure enough they confirmed it being an abscessed tooth and I also learned that the root canal that I received 7 years ago was not done properly. Now, I must see a specialist to have the problem fixed. This was not something I was looking forward to, but I guess that is life. Unexpected things happen all the time. I am thankful that I have treatment and care at my fingertips. Thankful for a dentist who will take my call the next day to call me in an order for pain medicine after I declined his offer the day before. Thankful that my mom lives close by to help with the kids while I make a mad dash to the dentist office. Thankful that my mom is willing to pick up my pain medicine for me so I don't have to load the kids up and drive to Duncan. Thankful that Jackson took a nap today that allowed me to take a nap. Jaycee is trustworthy enough to watch cartoons and I know she won't damage herself or anything in our house. As miserable as all of this is and how expensive it will be to have the problem taken care of I still have a choice in my attitude. The good definitely out weighs the bad. I am thankful for a God who loves and cares for me. That He hears my whining and complaining, but through His Word and the people He has blessed me with He encourages and reminds me that He is my perfect Father who knows my every need and He is my Provider and He will make a way!

Snow Days of 2011

We've had snow since late Monday night! The temperatures have been ridiculously cold! The snow is absolutely beautiful. Thankfully, we weren't hit by an ice storm so we haven't had to worry about our power going out. Honestly, I have loved this week. We haven't been able to get out and do much, but that is what I have loved. We have spent our days together as a family with Byron being at home with us. He would get out and make the rounds, but would be back home by mid morning. We went out with him in the afternoons a couple of times. It was a fabulous week. I know that we can't live all secluded in our house all the time, but its definitely fun for a few days. The kids have loved getting out to play in the snow. We made our first family snowman ever. Jackson has eaten a lot of snow. Eating snow is Jackson's favorite part of the snow. Jaycee loves to look for animal tracks through the snow. We found some bird, dog, and cat tracks throughout our outings here at the house and on the rounds with Byron. The other first for the kids has been hot cholocate!!! ITS a HIT!!! They want it all the time now!!! The first week of February has been great!!!

Hodge Podge

As I type I am looking out my living room windows seeing the beautiful white snow covered ground! We got hit last night by a snow storm. The high today is 17 and they are saying Thursday morning's low will be 2! How is that for winter weather?!?! The weather played with us this past weekend that Saturday's high was 70!!! Oklahoma weather, you gotta love it!!! Only bummer is not being able to get out and play in it. The wind is blowing 40 miles an hour from the North making it feel like its well below zero! Maybe we can step out on the porch this afternoon for a few pics!

I have completed my jury duty summons! I ended up not having to return after I reported on Thursday. I called in every evening and each night they changed our return day and then finally telling us our time to serve had been completed! Woohoo! It wasn't too bad, not fun not being able to plan anything, but that is much better than driving up to the courthouse everyday and making arrangements for the kids.

In other news, we are night time potty training Jackson! We had started out working on his eating. We drastically cut back his milk intake. He was drinking so much milk that he wasn't eating his meals. At this point, he only gets one sippy cup of milk in the afternoon if he eats all of his breakfast and lunch. Once we started that he went for an entire week dry at night! Awesome!!! He hasn't kept on that pace, but I refuse to go back to diapers! (Pull-ups just do not hold well at night.) Currently, we are getting up around 2 in the morning and taking him potty. Its pretty miserable at this point because he is very stubborn. It takes a good 10 minutes to actually get him to go potty. Even with the battle of this we are having success so we will stick with it. Hopefully, each night of this will get easier with his body adjusting to the wake up and naturally causing him to do it on his own. Also, the few times he has had accidents he had too much liquid and food too close to bedtime. Cut off time is around 7:30 p.m. for all of that stuff now. He is eating much better too so all in all its been a successful adjustment!!!

There isn't too much else going on as of now. In the next month things are really going to pick up for us. We are looking forward to it all!!!

Sleepover Time!

Jaycee had her first friend to come stay the night at our house on Saturday. Chloe was our first guest of honor. We had a fabulous time. We had gone over to Lawton Saturday morning and picked Chloe up that afternoon. Jackson was quite funny for the first bit. Acting insanely crazy and showing off for Chloe and making the girls laugh. We asked Chloe if she would like to have Jackson as her brother and she said NO! (She has an older brother, Nathan, he is 8.) After a while at home things calmed down a bit between Jackson and the girls. The girls played babies, puppies, dress up, and barbie dolls. We had pizza for dinner and watched Beverly Hills Chihuahua. We had chocolate chip ice creams sandwiches for our dessert. We also had a great game of Trouble and our guest of honor won. The girls decided they wanted to paint their nails. Things were going well for a moment. This was Jaycee's first time of attempting to paint her own. I had stepped out of the bathroom to grab some things out of the bedroom and the next thing I know Jaycee is crying with pink finger nail polish smeared all over her face! Poor little girl! She was just broken hearted. We got her cleaned up and the girls decided to be done with painting their nails and wanted a bubble bath. During this time Jackson got quite upset since he wasn't allowed in the bathroom with all the girls. He laid by the bathroom door sticking his hand under the door whining. Byron took him to our bed and he fell asleep. The girls finally got some uninterrupted time together. Around 10:00 pm I had them wrap up their coloring project and get ready for bed. Chloe "read" a few books to them in bed. It was the cutest thing ever. At 10:15 I went in the room tucked them both in and prayed with them. I stayed awake just a bit longer to make sure they had gone to sleep. Sure enough by 10:30 they were out. Both girls slept great. Sunday morning we had cinnamon rolls and the girls played Trouble again. We got ready for church and headed out. It was a great first sleepover! I see many many more in our future!

Still on call for jury duty!

The jury duty process isn't too bad, but its not super fun either. I reported Thursday morning. After they did roll call they selected 24 names out of a box. I was not selected. We all had to remain until the lawyers and the judge were pleased with the jury selection. I was out of the courtroom by Noon. I call in every evening to see when I am needed. As of right now I do not report until Wednesday. I hope that Wednesday will be my last day. I am thankful for the experience. As much as I would like to be done and I am also glad that I haven't actually been selected as a juror. I am thankful for the system we have that we as citizens can be a part of what is going on in our community. Its not easy by any means, but I think it gives you a better look at the world around you. For me I never read the local paper and we do not have a local news station so you don't hear all that is happening. Which in part this is all good, but I know for me it makes me think that things aren't too bad, but in reality they really are. I am probably going off from the whole jury thing with this stuff, but I am thankful for the past several weeks and what God has opened my eyes to see.

Reporting for duty....

Jury duty that is. Tuesday will be the big day. I have never been summoned before for jury duty. I am a bit nervous about it all. I actually went this past Friday to plead my case of why I shouldn't/can't do it, but after the judge finished his speech to all that were present to get out of jury duty I decided that I didn't have much of a case. I figured its better to just show up and do my part as a citizen of Stephens County instead of whining about my situation and that being what the judge remembered me by. I know it will be a good learning experience. Yes, its a bit of an inconvenience of trying to arrange sitters for the kids and then scheduling Jaycee's homeschooling at different times, but it won't last forever.

The judge shared that what they have on the calendar shouldn't take longer than 2 weeks to get through. They will divid us up into 3 groups so we won't have to report everyday for duty. Hopefully, I will get selected early, get on a case that settles out of court, and then I will be done.

So if any of you have done this I would love to hear your stories. My grandpa has shared a few of his with me. I am thankful that I won't be going through what he has gone through. He has been selected on 2 murder cases. From my knowledge we won't have any of those at this time. Which is a huge relief. Not sure how long we will wait around, but I am looking forward to maybe catching up on some reading and also memorizing scripture during this time. Like I said I have no idea what is in store, but praying that things will go well and looking forward to the experience.

Christmas Day!

I am behiind with posting, but what is new?! I have been wanting to "write" about this day, but I hadn't found time to sit down and put it into words. Yesterday, after uploading Christmas pictures to Facebook I realized I really needed to get the memories and thoughts down of this day.

Christmas Day this year was spent in Washington with Byron's family. After thinking this has been our first Christmas together in 4 years! Seriously! The last time we had Christmas with the family was December of 2006. Jaycee was 19 months old, Jackson was in my tummy, and Phil and Amanda only had Lukas and Evalin. Lots has changed in four years. We have moved to Oklahoma and the family has grown by adding Jackson, Kate, Isaac, and Gwendolyn. I am so thankful for the precious time that we were given to spend with our family. Truly only God's knows when we will be able to do this again. A part of me is deeply saddened by that and brings many tears to my eyes, but the other part rejoices because no matter the time length here on earth we do not see each other I know that we will have eternity together in heaven. Even better than that will be us rejoicing and worshipping Jesus together for His sacrifice, for His death, and for His resurrection to rescue us!!! What a beautiful picture that is!!!

We had Christmas dinner around Noon on Christmas Day. After eating and cleaning up the kitchen we all gathered together in the living room. Papa had all of the kids sit in the floor in front of him. He read to us the birth of Jesus out of Luke 2. Then he went on to share with the children why we celebrate during this time and also played the song "Redeeming Love". I have to say this is one of the most precious memories of that day and I will cherish it as long as I live. I have never witnessed anything like this. To see my father in law pour out his love for His Savior and for his family was beautiful. I really have no words to describe those moments we had together. I am so thankful God gave that time to us!

The rest of the day was filled with laughter, gifts, food, coffee, and conservation. God has been so faithful to our family even when we haven't been faithful to Him. He has continued His work in each one of us and as we gathered together multiple times during our visit to Washington He truly blessed us all with His love, grace, mercy, forgiveness, and hope. I can not thank Him enough for that!

Christmas 2010 is one of the best I have ever had!!! Maybe next time we can get one picture of the entire family!!!

Amazing Love!

This morning I started back up on the bible study a friend and I are doing together. We are doing Beth Moore's "Breaking Free". We are starting Week 5. Its been so good!!! I just wanted to share with you a few things from today's study.

Week 5 is talking about binding up the brokenhearted and today was titled "Straight to the Heart". The part that spoke to me and once again reminded me of how great the love of my Savior is this:

It starts with reading Psalm 127:3-4 Behold children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb a reward. Like arrows in the hand of a warrior are the children of a warrior.

Then in John 3:16, Jesus is called God's what? One and Only Son.

Now here is the section that went right to my heart!

"John 3:17 tells us God gave His Son for the salvation of people by sending Him into the world. You see, God only had one arrow in His quiver. The most perfect arrow ever to exist. This arrow was a masterpiece, priceless to Him. Cherished far above all the hosts of heaven. Nothing could compare. His only heritage. His only Son. But as God looked on a lost world-desperate, needy, and in the clutches of the enemy-His heart was overwhelmed. Though we sinned miserably against Him and few sought Him, God could not love us less.

Love reached sacrificially into the quiver and pulled out the solitary arrow. The quiver would now be empty, His cherished arrow in the hands of hateful men. Yes, God so loved the world, but God also loved His only begotten Son with inexpressible, divine affection. The divine dilemma: two loves. And one would demand sacrifice of the other. Only one weapon could defeat the enemy of the soul-God's arrow. He positioned the weapon, pulled back the bow, steadied His grip, aimed straight for the heart, 'And she brought forth her firstborn son, and wrapped him in swaddling clothes, and laid him in a manager'(Luke 2:7)."

Tears of joy stream down my face as I read this over and over again. The thankfulness in my heart no words can express. The God of the universe so passionately loves me inspite of my sins, my failures, my lack of trusting Him and my disobedience. Daily I need this reminder. His love for me is real! This is truly amazing love! Jesus, to give up all He had and be put through the heartbreak, the agony, the lonliness, the betrayal, the mocking, etc. to give me life when I so do not deserve it is unfathomable. Oh, how thankful I am that He did. I pray that I will never look upon the sacrifice He made for me lightly. I pray I will not take it for granted. I pray that anyone who has not been hit by God's arrow, Jesus, that you will drop the shield from your heart and allow the everlasting arrow of love to penetrate your heart and change you forever. Because nothing can bind up a broken heart except the unconditional love of Jesus Christ.